Tall Buildings that rise to the sky

So for a very very long time, since time began and man became aware of the process of life and death, the heavens above neverending, skies that went on for ever, the planets, the roundness of the World, the presence of a God? A God that created all… who is he, where is he, the bible here it is written…. Tall buildings to worship… loads of them all over the World raising high into the sky to try and reach where he is, to thank him, pray to him, ask him for help…. the violence, the heretics, all things good and all things bad in the World, will always be… we are animals, some of us are pacifists and some very angry, controlling and cruel.

Who is he? what created this Universe? where does is begin and where does it end? Is there life after death, in heaven, will i see my dad and my mum again, i surely hope so, it is a comforting dream i hold dear.

For so long this Worship is as it has been, thoughts are changing and peoples ideals of God are changing, or are they? They may become different and disguised in a different cover but all adorement leads to the same thing, doesnt it?

God Bless you all and find peace within you with what ever path you follow to the destiny of your life….

me and my mum in this picture, my dear lovely mum who i miss so much…. til we meet again…. and dad….

Survival of the fittest

i guess at the end of the day we are just glorified animals in clothing and the game of life is survival of the fittest like any other specicies. We nuture the old and infirm and those with disabilities in boxes or care homes, Gods waiting rooms. How awful it is…. Those who are stressed about their health or a situation are encouraged to take anti depressants so that they wont worry those that are fit well and able, to sit in a corner and not moan, ask for anything but take the numbing tablets whilst those around them nourish in lifes wonders. Pills are a good answer to everything it seems to supress your mental health regardless of the situation, if rectified could solve the problem without the need of the pills? First paced World, people do not have the time to help someone that needs some tlc there are far more important and wonderful things you could be doing rather helping someone who is distressed or unhappy or lonely, whatever it is…. the game of life it is for sure survival of the fittest.

Social Distancing in a field

yesterday i went out for a social event which i have not done for a long time, not since the pandemic started, Shire Choir, which i go to every Tuesday evening in Shire Hall, the council office for Shropshire, with Roxanne Smith Choir leader extradinaire, it was a great event.

My dear friend Cathy and her trusty sidekick Bailey, her little dog, picked me and Polly Doodle Guide Doggie up and off we went. The field was only small where we had arranged to meet and home to four cows as it happens and several cow pats of course, to boot! Yes mind you dont stick your boot in one of them! Polly my Guide Dog was overwhelmed by the smell, i guess, she howled silently in a high pitched tone.

It was so nice to see more than two human beings at once! Roxanne stood in the middle with her microphone and trying to avoid the cow pats conducted us as she did best into a lovely choral interlude to our normally confined day. We more than compensated for the social distancing measure, as we were all somewhat overwhelmed at the experience i guess, especially as the cows were nudging their way into the centre and wondering what was going on. Well they didnt stay long and after having a nose round some plastic bags and the bikes they headed off to the next field.

We sang our hearts out and had a laugh about avoiding the cow pats and it was great to be singing again with the lovely folks from the Shire Choir. The cows never did come back whilst we were there so guess singing isnt their taste of entertainment!

life line

born 8th may 1958 at 20 Southview Road, dad had just gone to work in london, for British Telecom had older brother Alan, five years older than me, always worrying and nervous about everythingsat in the middle of the garden eating an icecream!went to plumberow primary schoollearnt to swim in outdoor poolbest thing was going round the block on roller skates or bike with friend Debbie across the roadfell in a rose bush on bike and dad said get up quick and try again or you will lose your confidencelots of fetes and country dancing at plumberow primary schoolhad holidaysin Wales and Norfolk, remember dad buying us yoyos to use whilst we were waiting the cystern to fill up in the toilets in the hotel in llendadnu Wales, Norfolk in a caravan, wet cold windy, my mum said bugger this lets go home in the middle of the week!dad taught me to dive into the pool by flipping my ankles up as i went in the watermy gran and grandad his mum and dad lived in london, bethnal green, they were from Jewish family and their family had a picture framing shop in Bethnal green, my grandads name was Abraham, which is what they called the eldest son, he was a grumpy old so and so and wasnt very nice to my nan, when he keeled over and died aged 73 after his tea of a heart attack my nan said thank goodness that silly old so and so has copted it!went to Greensward School mayhemliked art, english needlework, got gcses in these subjectsused to go to youth club and then get on the bus to The Crown in Rayleighnever really had a proper boyfriendVince for a whileworked as a Saturday girl in the chemist in the village, aunty lesley across the road got me the jobgot a job with British Telecom, nepatism through dad who worked there, as a drawning office assistantwas useless at the maths so had to learn it!got a job with local government office in victoria avenue, inland revenueleft to train to be a state enrolled nurse in Surreygave it up and came homedid a Pitmans secretarial course in london and learn shorthand typinggot a job with Coutts Bank in londonwent to Judo classes with friend Penny to keep fit and self defenceMet Brian and AndrewMet Jackie who had a flat in a tower block and asked meand Brian to sharewe didthen Brian and i became girlfriend and boyfriendJackie leftwe saved up and bought a maisonette in New BarnetBrian was a stonemason, someone who repaired old churches, he did his apprentaship on West Minster Abbey, he was always skiving in the toilet according to AndrewJackie, Andrew Brian and i went to see ET at the cinema in West End, that was the first time we all met and the London Zoo, they were a funny pair really Andrew and Brian, their parents were Irish from farms and come over to make money as youths.  Andrew and Brian were born in Kilburn Park Road, where all the Irish people lived when they came over to live here.i wrote to all the companies in road in New Barnet and got a job in an insurance company there so handy for work, walking distancedecided to have a babygot married in Barnet Registry Office all my friends and family came to my house for reception which i did myself with my friendwe decided to move to Hockley where my parents and brother livedBrian was doing ok with job we bought a new house in Betts Farm Estate, Sudely GardensHad baby Christine Frances MckenzieHad baby Nicholas Ryan Mckenzie two years laterthen we moved to a different house at end of plumberow avenuethen we moved to a house nearer town, Marylands avenuehad baby Robert Alexander MckenzieBrian worked in London, as stone mason, it was hard comute for him, very stressed and tiredwould go and visit his parents in London for weekend with childrenthey would come and visit us too for weekend and holidaysmy parents lived round the corner, granny round the corner busy timeswashing, children, dinners, play group, school, swimming, karate, birthdays all sorts of things to keep us busy with familywent swimming with robert whilst brian took christine and nicholas to karatetime went on and onhid dad died in the hospital where Lady Diana would visit the aides patientsi never had a jobdid lots of voluntary work in the primary school18 years marriednicholas passed 11 plus and went to Southend High School for boysRob really good at swimmingChrissy could play the recorder and sing in the choir,Nick had lesson with mr Titford the guitar teacherloved seeing them in the school plays, so funny, lovely and sweet, best days of my life…. busy lovely children, my parents loved it and so did brians18 years marriedBrian very stressedtried to find worktold me horrible things, ugly fat useless mother usual male insultsalways shouting and putting fist through doors, scarey stuff…. oh no respect for mei did get job with local government, employer compliance but he carried on, decided to leavesold housebought a flat in southendthen got a mortgage and bought a house in southend and divorced Brianhe married a woman in RochfordChrissy went to live in Solihull with Mikes family, who she met onlineNick went to Leeds uni english and italianRob went to Welyn Gnd uni Film studies after he left Greensward college and did a techy thing at southend college.i got a job at South Essex college in Registry, admissions, enrolment, exams, library, first aid officer.met Tom went out with him for six years lots of National Trust buildings and family time with his family andmy childenhe went off with an old girlfrienddid an Access to art and design course.worked full time in collegewent to Central St Martins to do  a degree in ceramics, londonafter year stopped and applied to do fine art at Southend college, great!Chrissy getting married in las vegaswent to eye clinic told had advaned glaucomamy world tumbled downwent to las vagas was spaced outchrissy got married, went over grand canyon in a helecopterstarted doing fine art degree year and half had pip guide dogpulled me over and she was retired and went to Hannahs parents for petstill worked for a whilemet Rob who did my bathroom upgave up art degree after year two got a piano for Chrissy up the stairs to the flatgot Polly Guide Dogtrained in Redbridge at Holiday Innjoined The Art Ministry for visually impaired artistshad work in exhibitions in Southend,Southend Art Trail, Hadleigh Art Trail etcSunflowr painting for allotment in leigh on sea with Jill Adairmet lots of lovely people here Rowena Right, laura mills, my PA for a while, Rachel Hollyworked for RNIB in London one day a week Advise teamdid first year of Counselling course at South Essex CollegeWorked as volunteer for Family Lives phone servie in Hadleighdid a project in london with Gemma and Leigh visually impaired art degree ideaswent to Hereford college for blind to do Business and Admin courseworked for Look-uk as a Project Assistantset up an art project in london, cancelled as no attendees arrangedjoined New Street Life social group in southend and went on walks, seafron Tuesday, Pier Saturday and lots of birthdays and teas, dinners, outings celebrations all the time, great crowdlistened to music in priary park on Sat and Sun afternoon, open mike at the military club in West Street on a friday evening with David Antoni also did a web page design course with free voucher college were giving us when i worked there.Went to Baptist church in Westcliff met Jeannette and DianeWent to St Marys Church of england church in Prittlewell, beautiful organ music and choir.met lots of people in southend and potential men friends!non for the takersMum died in Southend Hospital of old ageChrissy came to stay with methen a year later Grandad my dad diedi miss them so much…….there is no one like the lovely people they were and my aunties and unles and cousinsinherited the moneyChrissy and mike had moved to Shrewsburythey suggested i move therei was surprisedi sold my house in Southend, Colchester roadcame to live in Shrewsburyi have this awful glaucoma its there all the time robbing my sight its awful Andrew who had Helen his common law wife had moved to Norfolk had Zoe and Luke children, died suddenly of a strokeNick and Lindsey, Nicks girlfriend Rob and i travelled to Norfolk to the funeral and of course Polly my guide dog too. taken before his time in his 50sMy brother is left in Hockley as i move up here, i should not have left them there on his own.he moved into my parents bungalow and rents his flat out.i came to live in ShrewsburyChrissy and Mike live round the cornerHad My Guide from Guide Dogs, Helenshowed me roundjoined Oxon Churchmet few nice people thee, Jeanette, Jan and Dave, Marie Helen StantonHandymen Chris and Mal do my place up, meet Jenny across the road and Jannet and martin next door for cups of teafeel like a tourist for first few monthsRiver Severn  always flooding the car parkCharles Darwin lived here, the fame of Shrewsbury, Shrewsbury the Shire, the place of hobbits, well to do cartoonists guide dogs tall trees and very much politeness¬i miss Essex i had lived in Essex area all my life, it is too much to come here and live here and leave my brother behind, i should not have done itNick is living in Plumstead now with his girlfriend Lindsey or partner i would say, Rob in a studio flat in Balham a film editor, looking for work after working for co that did all the tennis tournaments.  Nick has been into charity but training to be lawyer good plan! Mike Graphic designer and portrate artist and chrissy is Life Tree Yoga expert, Grandad, my dad, stand on his head would be proud of her, of all of them in fact, i hope he is looking down, and seeing them all, i remember all the silly games he played with them when we went to grans and grandads house for tea and christmas fun! the memories i have…
Now i sit here alone, in this bungalow in Shrewsbury, a very nice bungalow, but i dont like it…. with my glaucomatized eyes on my own, no husband no partner, how lonely and awful is this…. and smile and betend its all ok, well no it isnt is it… if you cant see and you are on your own… its awful crap terrible….i must see my brother or live near him, for my last days, i owe it to Grandad, we were a family, grandad didnt give up on us like my husband blamed me for everything from the beginning of time!!! stress, madness, all of it, ive been busy, its all over now…. my life, im so tired…. i need to find a place to be quiet and end my days, i wont live as long as them as i have been through too much and too much stress with people and places and done too many different things i didnt need to do especially when i had this glaucoma, and oh the lonelyness of it here it awful.  I have a pain in the neck from the stress of trying to see as my sight goes, give me peace
i will add to this as i think of things and events that stick in my mind or pop up in my mind. 

Hot Dog Ditty

Hot dog ditty Hot dog In the sunGoing walkiesHaving funIt’s not rainingThe sun is outLet’s go to the parkThe doggies shoutPanting LollopingIn the heatHot pawsHot feetBut good to be outIn the airWithout a carePlay ballChase a squirrelDance in the grassNow in the middle All pups should be takenEarly in the mornWhen wakenOr evening timeWhen it is coolDon’t be a foolGo for a walkAnd chat and talkHot daysAll ablaze Summer Rosypoems.comCopyright Photos of Polly Guide Dog at the Park

Hot dog ditty Hot dog In the sunGoing walkiesHaving funIt’s not rainingThe sun is outLet’s go to the parkThe doggies shoutPanting LollopingIn the heatHot pawsHot feetBut good to be outIn the airWithout a carePlay ballChase a squirrelDance in the grassNow in the middle All pups should be takenEarly in the mornWhen wakenOr evening timeWhen it is coolDon’t be a foolGo for a walkAnd chat and talkHot daysAll ablaze Summer Rosypoems.comCopyright Photos of Polly Guide Dog at the Park

Hot dog 

In the sun

Going walkies

Having fun

It’s not raining

The sun is out

Let’s go to the park

The doggies shout

Panting 

Lolloping

In the heat

Hot paws

Hot feet

But good to be out

In the air

Without a care

Play ball

Chase a squirrel

Dance in the grass

Now in the middle

 All pups should be taken

Early in the morn

When waken

Or evening time

When it is cool

Don’t be a fool

Go for a walk

And chat and talk

Hot days

All ablaze 

Summer 

say a prayer for me…. please…

I have advanced glaucoma in both eyes, it is not pleasant. I can see,  very blurry vision but the distance vision is closing in, It’s upsetting. As you know I am a Guide Dog owner too being visually impaired. I was looking forward to a peaceful retirement doing different things as you do when you retire but now it seems am coping on a day to day basis with practical issues relating to sight loss. I live on my own with no partner as divorced my husband  on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour and mental cruelty and had one relationship since which lasted six years. I wanted to get married again but he didn’t. I moved to Shrewsbury in Shropshire near my daughter which is nice but I think my mind map is better served where I lived before all my life in Essex. Apart from the pandemic I feel very lonely and anxious here most of the time. I never dreamed I would end up like this! So treasure those you love and be kind to them, don’t bully or turn your anger and frustrations on your family like my husband did to me and mine and treasure your good health and look after yourself, Things can change very quickly and you never know what’s round the corner if not another corner to turn. I didn’t always make the right decisions or take the right advice because I am only human after all. Wish me luck and say a little prayer for me please. 

Dancing in the kitchen!

There is nothing better

When your feeling sad The thing to do Is dance round the kitchen

Put some music on And soon all your worries will be gone And you will be twitchen!

Jive around and have some fun

After your meal is done

The washing up is put away

And everyone is fed for another day

Volume up

Sing out loud

Don’t be proud

Let yourself go

And have a dance

Dance dance dance

Laugh and smile

And be silly

Giggle and wriggle

The music is great

Just what you need

When my kids were young very busy time looking after them I loved it. After dinner would do the washing up and put some music on and we would all dance round the kitchen and have some fun… 📻 🎵 🎶 🎤 Dinner Time Blues!

To cheer you up

It’s great!

Your mood it is sure to enhance

And you can stay up late too

As you dance the evening through !

Phew I’m exhausted !

Sight of sight loss

Well I’m up the creek without a paddle
My life is a quiet sort of sad lonely muddle
Glaucoma has taken its toll
My vision you know still does fail
I moan and grown
It has to be known
And who’d have believed it
In a pandemic too
I feel out of my depth and what a to do
Please Don’t take your vision for granted
The seeds of hope I had now planted
But practical things get in my way
As my optic nerve ebbs away
To find peace solace and company too
Here On my own
And feeling blurry n blue
I just say to you
Get your eyes checked for the pressure
Cos glaucoma don’t give you much leisure
I always believe good will come
And soon I will have some fun
Rather than sit here in a mist alone
And you know me I moan and groan!
I’m sure my vision will get better each day
It’s mind over matter
Isn’t that what they say!

as you get older….

heres a heart felt sign of the times ditty! well bit of prose i suppose…as you get older….are you less tolerant of the way the World has evolved.. are things more crazy, hazy, out of your depth, what the younger generation feel, how they act, what happened to old school feelings and beings….Globalisation, civilisation, animals set lose pretending to be humans, what are we? but mammals, animals dressed in clothes pretending we are sophisticated, when we have mutilated the World….plastic fantastic isnt it …. it was invented, intended to make our lives easier, we are blamed, we baby boomers, we are bloomers! as we hear the younger generation tell us what we have done wrong!Fast pace, no trace of what is happening, too fast, all is cast, dont care, are you alive or are you dead? i do care, really…. love you, love you… we say on the phone… then with a tone we are off… where shall i go to get away! America, China, Japan,Lets throw it all away, for another day, the rubbish on the beach, who did we teach? to pick that rubbish up? not me, you see! im the new generation of dont care, throw it away, another day, throw you away too, you are to fat, not good looking, get an air brush to your face, for goodness sake! Im superficial yes…chuck you away for a model, what a doddle, l as i chuck my carton in the sea, thats me, arrogant, crass, fast and good looking…Wheres the caring, wheres the real love, wheres the consideration, wheres the foundation you should have grown on.. your life your home your family….

up the creek without a paddle

I am up the stream without a paddle

My life now seems an awful muddle

To who to turn

For some solace

A helpful hand

And a kind face

The vision of life I have now is faded

And made my life somewhat jaded

I have a lot of fun still inside me

But I’m tired and weary lonely and quite teary

So help me please I need a hug

I’m all alone

As I sit on this rug

I miss the sea

And my home town

And I try to smile

Like some silly clown