rant on rosy…..

this is a rant only – my situation – i was referred to Birmingham Eye Clinic from Shrewsbury eye clinis as i have advanced glaucoma to have an Aqueus shunt implant to drain the fluid that causes glaucoma, as the drops dont work and the tablets they give you make you feel like you cant move. This was over 17 weeks ago! During this time, i have lost loads more vision, the net curtain is thickening and i sent a message to the hospital via PALS few days ago to see what was happening with this. It could help stop me losing all my sight it is a possibility but whilst i have waited all this time i have lost loads of sight! I sat here this moring with Katy my cat on my lap wondering how on earth i am going to cope on my own in this increased mist situation when i receive the call from hospital today. So the best they can do is give me a pre-op appointment for 9th December and no sign of the op til New Year. The lady on the phone asked what else could she do, i said a pair of bionic eyes would be helpful so i could see to do my shopping and practical things in life as normal. Birmingham hospital is hour and half aways drive, so will have to cadge a lift. If i was in Southend, it would be 10 minutes or even walk of 20 and my brother would take me. At this moment in time i feel numb with looking through a thicker net curtain grateful for having Katy on my lap purring and trying not to cry and feel very lonely with it as dont have a partner or husband to make me a cuppa or lend a shoulder to cry on…. life is pretty much lemons….when Christmas spirit should begin to prevail… and i guess, going to the hospital could be a risk with this COVID thing going on? So what do i do, not bother with it in case i catch COVID or take a chance and perhaps save a bit of my eyesight thats left? I am going to move back to Southend then have it done there in handy locality? i am now really fed up with all the traipsing i have done from one of the county to another, ousted out of my marriage home by my bullying husband in my comfy home in Hockley, where i loved living to live in Southend and then coming up here to be near Chrissy and Mike which is very nice but i feel very lonely and isolated and out of my depth as dont know the area very well and sustained more sight loss since been here as well as a panamdemic! When i first came here i had much optismism maybe too much and my sight was actually good for what it was and had planned to carry on my counselling course and other activities and didnt need lots of help but really since the pandemic my sight has got worse, so maybe it is the stress of it all moving, change, panamdemic or maybe it would have happened anyway. Either way it is lemons that need to be sweetened and practical solutions with happiness thrown in as a welcome bonus,

so it must be easy to find your underpants in the morning must it and make your dinner if you cant see!

Author: rosyhaze

I became interested in poetry about a year ago and try to write about things from my heart that are associated with events in my life or events going on in the World at large or closer to home. I am a visual artist and still am to a certain extent having exhibited some of my work as a visually impaired artist using sponges to paint. I have lost most of my eyesight in recent years to advanced glaucoma and my vision is now very limited I am finding my creativity now evolving in writing poetry and hope to publish my own book of verse in the future. I have a blog page on Wordpress where I share my poetry, art, photography, thoughts and favourite quotes and prayers at https://rosypoems.com

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