my story…..

My story is I was married for 18 years to Brian . We were ok had three children. I didn’t manage to work for a long so then he got cross and stressed and nagged me to get a job. It wasn’t easy and he was not supporting just bullying and shouting. When we went shopping he would chuck what I put in the basket on the floor. He said I was fat, useless and any other insult he could throw at me. He would bash the doors with his fist and roar out loud, my younger son would go hide in a cupboard. I got scared and it felt awful, as he became more threatening and there was no love to show me only criticism and derogatory words. I decided to leave and sold our marital home on the advice of my father and split it down the middle. In hindsight I should have stayed in the house as I had the children and their lives were disrupted . But I did that and then bought a flat outright . Then I did get work in local Government Office and bought a house in Prittlewell with a mortgage . We lived there and the children left home as soon as they could, don’t blame them. It’s not what I wanted our lives to be. I wanted a happy family with supporting parents for my children. Then I met Tom and spent six years with him, he was not paternal but we had a fairly nice time together keeping our lives separate. Since then I have been on my own, it’s very hard to meet a sensible caring man at my age who I gel with. I did some art studies, worked for college and then unfortunately have glaucoma affecting my eyes. Could it get any worse . I did quite a few things, went to Hereford college for the blind, counselling studies volunteered for Guide Dogs, Family Lives and worked as a Project Assistant for Look Uk a charity for blind children. I carried on doing art with local art charity group The Art Ministry and had my art in various venues in Southend galleries and Art trails. I since have recently moved to Shrewsbury in Shropshire near my daughter and her husband but not sure this is the right thing to do. We have had an isolating pandemic and my glaucoma has got worse. I am alone with no partner and have never felt so lonely and upset in my life at my situation. Losing eyesight is devastating and in hindsight it would have been better to stay in Essex, on familiar ground, near the eye clinic that knew me and all the amenities that I was used to plus friends, support network and my brother. What a life I have been through. I feel overwhelmed out of my depth and lonely and can hardly see…. show me the way to some love and happiness God

Author: rosyhaze

I became interested in poetry about a year ago and try to write about things from my heart that are associated with events in my life or events going on in the World at large or closer to home. I am a visual artist and still am to a certain extent having exhibited some of my work as a visually impaired artist using sponges to paint. I have lost most of my eyesight in recent years to advanced glaucoma and my vision is now very limited I am finding my creativity now evolving in writing poetry and hope to publish my own book of verse in the future. I have a blog page on Wordpress where I share my poetry, art, photography, thoughts and favourite quotes and prayers at https://rosypoems.com

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